THE GERMAN COWBOY
Mr. Pirate
"How can I get of off the stage?" That is what I said to myself. "That is not my game, I am not the guy who impresses the girls with my physical appearance". But no chance, I am in the open
on stage, everybody would see if I leave. So I decide if I can not leave I will win the contest!
Years ago when I worked as a finance consultant the company I worked for invited me as an incentive on a vacation: Ten days at the Seychelles in the Indian Ocean. One evening everybody had to dress
up like a pirate. Then came the costume contest, what I thought. I entered the stage with some of my colleagues, but it turns out it is a model contest 'Who is Mr. Pirate'.
Now imagine there are these colleagues, huge guys, tanned bodybuilder types, real hunks, compared to me, a kinda skinny short guy and the game is to impress the opposite sex. The jury were three
women, one of them a former Miss Germany.
In the first round I am posing like a bodybuilder, imagining having the body of Arnold Schwarzenegger. The audience laughs about my serious effort to show off my not existing muscles. Out of fifteen
contestants they choose five finalists, including me. Wow, that is fun, maybe I really can win the whole contest.
But now only the well trained good looking guys and me are in the game. I see the huge gap between their appearance and my little, skinny, pale, untrained body. Now I have only one chance: nothing to
loose, risk it all.
When it is my round to perform I picture myself as this huge Orangutan, coming out of the jungle. I jump to the front of the stage, throw my arms in the sky, let out a loud roar from the deep inside
of me and throwing my fists against my huge imaginary chest.
The audience cannot stand it, they brake down in laughter and the jury makes me 'Mr. Pirate'. Years later colleagues are still calling me 'Mr. Pirate'.
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